Bittersweet Symphony That's Life

Here it is yet again...New Year's Eve. I have a love/hate relationship with this day, because it makes me look back on a year that has not gone as well as I would have liked (that's the hate part). But, it also allows me to feel hopeful (things have sucked big time, lately) that maybe, just maybe...this coming year will be better? Although, I have hoped that for the last three years, but it hasn't worked out like I would have liked.

I almost never have resolutions, because I know I won't stick to them...like losing my extra 20 pounds I've gained since I started seeing my current SO. But, I have to lose this weight. I've just seen pictures of myself...and I don't like what I see. The only thing that is different about this year than last year is...I'm seeing a personal trainer. I have been for 4 weeks straight. Granted, I did not follow any sort of diet...and I think I might have actually GAINED weight (or maybe my muscles are bigger, therefore making things a little tighter?). But, with the new year...I am going to try to follow some sort of diet...not anything crazy, like low-carb. Because, let's face it...I'm not getting any younger, and this weight is not going to magically fall off of me like it has in the past when I exercised at such a high intensity. Truly, I need to find a way to eat more sensibly, and just say "no" when my skinny boyfriend asks me if I want some of the peanut butter chocolate chip cookies he just made. Will I be able to? Aye, there's the rub. I can say it all I want...but I actually have to follow through with it. Maybe this year, what I set my mind to do, will actually happen...

Tags: New Year, New Year's resolution, diary, journal, fitness, diet, exercise